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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?